Another random post (or not)

I find that lately I have become somewhat addicted to blogging. I am actually thinking in blog, and what to blog about. Does this ever stop? I wonder if I will be diligent and keep this up or if it is just another novelty that will soon wear off. Only time will tell. When I was 16 I started a diary, I diligently wrote in it every day in January 1999, filling out everything that I did that day, then it became every other day, week, then month then months. I never did fill it up and I have no idea where this diary is today. I hope that this blog doesn’t end up like this diary.

Today was an interesting day that consisted of me arguing with my father, getting my eyebrows and upper lip waxed and spending an hour in the car with my dad while he drove me to the ferry. I seriously considered taking public transit and doubling my travel time to avoid this, as I would prefer peaceful bus ride and my book to my dad. I love my father, but there is nobody out there quite like him (except maybe me seeing as I have half of his genetic make up) if you have met him you can attest to this. He is like a grown child and half the time I feel that I am the parent and he is the child.

He raised me as a single parent from the time I was 6 and he did the best he could, and is the kindest most loving person on the world but he also drives me up the wall most of time. He never did remarry or get a proper girlfriend, and I thought I was to blame for this as I wasn’t an easy child in my eyes (plus I had wrapped around my finger since birth) but it is just him and his eccentric personality. If a woman takes the slightest interest in him, he latches on like a leech. I have tried to give him advice (the same advice that his friends give him) but he never listens and wonders why he ends up heart broken.

My dads latest interest is a 20-something nomadic hippie. He is 50 for crying out loud! He met her while traveling in the interior a few years back and has kept in touch with via email. I have met her; she stayed with him in February on her way back from Asia for one night. My first thought she is nice, but a flake. Can’t stay in one place too long, is estranged from both her parents … I think she sees him as a father figure. He doesn’t know her real age he figures she is a few years older than me. Turns out I worked with her a few years back at a call center but I don’t remember her and she doesn’t remember me (There were at least 500-700 people in the place and it was more of a sweatshop.) I am all for him finding a girlfriend even if she is half is age, but someone who will love him and not break his heart and is not looking for a father figure. My dad is passive and easily taken advantage of. This isn’t why we argued, it was over the fact that he wanted me to give him gas $ so he could drive me to the ferry and I would rather take the bus (It is a lot cheaper). I also was upset over the fact that he hasn’t gotten me anything for my 25th birthday and I will get my present later when he can afford it. My dad isn’t very good with $ and lives paycheck to paycheck like most normal people, including myself. My beef is that I spent a lot of my own $ last year to throw him a party for his 50th birthday and my friends and I prepared all the food ourselves. I organized, planned and sent out invitations and ensured that I had enough $ set aside for this milestone event in his life so that he would know that he was loved and alone. As he often feels lonely as he doesn’t have a significant other in his life. What do I get from him? A card, a phone call and excuses as to why he couldn’t afford to get me anything? I love him, but I am thinking if I was able to save and set aside $ for him and prioritize my needs why couldn’t he do the same for me? His excuse: I moved out so he is tight for $. (Me living at home helped him, I wasn’t some 20-something mooch living rent free off of her parent(s). I have paid rent since I was 19, even when I was attending college fulltime working at a thankless minimum wage job. He said he would never charge me rent if I was in school, but we I can leave that for another post.)

I guess this is more a rant on my dad, he doesn’t read this nor does he know of its existence so he will never come across this and I should stop. It is just putting me in a sour mood. I have valid reasons as to why I have a love/hate relationship with my father but will save that. I am going to be positive and be happy that I have a boyfriend that loves me and an impending job that I am almost certain I will love compared to my current job. If you haven’t figured out by now that I am a pessimist you now know. : ) I am a glass half empty kinda girl; but I try to have an optimistic outlook on life. Thus far it hasn’t gotten me very far.


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